All I've ever wanted is for Juli Baker to leave me alone. For her to back off — you know, just give me some space.
我只有一个愿望:让朱莉安娜·贝克别来烦我。快点给我走开!——我只想让她离我远点。
It all started the summer before second grade when our moving van pulled into her neighborhood. And since we're now about done with the eighth grade, that, my friend, makes more than half a decade of strategic avoidance and social discomfort.
这一切都源于一年级暑假,从我家的卡车停在她家隔壁开始。眼下,我们都快上完八年级了,也就是说,整整五年,我不得不忍受着社交上的不便,对她实行“战略性回避”。
She didn't just barge into my life. She barged and shoved and wedged her way into my life. Did we invite her to get into our moving van and start climbing all over boxes? No! But that's exactly what she did, taking over and showing off like only Juli Baker can.
她可不只是闯入了我的生活,而且是千方百计地非要在我的生活里占领一席之地不可。难道是我们邀请她爬进搬家的卡车里,在箱子上爬来爬去的吗?才没有!可她就是不请自来,好像这是她的家,是她朱莉安娜·贝克的特权似的。
My dad tried to stop her. “Hey!” he says as she's catapulting herself on board. “What are you doing? You're getting mud everywhere!” So true, too. Her shoes were, like, caked with the stuff.
爸爸试图阻止她,“嘿!”她在车里跳来跳去的时候,爸爸喊道,“你在干什么?你把烂泥弄得到处都是!”没错,她的鞋上糊满了泥巴。
She didn't hop out, though. Instead, she planted her rear end on the floor and started pushing a big box with her feet. “Don't you want some help?” She glanced my way. “It sure looks like you need it.”
可她根本没想从车上下来。正相反, 她一屁股坐在车厢里,开始用脚推起一个大箱子。“你难道不需要帮忙吗?”她朝我这边瞥了一眼,“我觉得你真的需要别人帮忙呢。”
I didn't like the implication. And even though my dad had been tossing me the same sort of look all week, I could tell — he didn't like this girl either. “Hey! Don't do that,” he warned her. “There are some really valuable things in that box.”
我一点儿也不喜欢她的暗示。虽然我爸也整天用这种眼神看我,可我敢说,他也不喜欢这丫头。“嘿,别推了,”他提醒道,“箱子里有贵重物品。”
“Oh. Well, how about this one?” She scoots over to a box labeled LENOX and looks my way again. “We should push it together!”
“哦,好吧。那我搬这个吧?”她挪到另一个贴着“LENOX(餐具)”标志的箱子旁边,又看了我一眼,“我们可以一起推!”
“No, no, no!” my dad says, then pulls her up by the arm. “Why don't you run along home? Your mother's probably wondering where you are.”
“不,不,不用!”爸爸把她抱起来,“你是不是应该回家看看?你妈妈也许正在担心你跑到哪儿去了。”
This was the beginning of my soon-to-become-acute awareness that the girl cannot take a hint. Of any kind. Does she zip on home like a kid should when they've been invited to leave? No. She says, “Oh, my mom knows where I am. She said it was fine.” Then she points across the street and says, “We just live right over there.”
这是我头一次见识到这姑娘到底有多么不识趣,毫无自知之明。作为一个孩子,当别人礼貌地请她离开的时候,难道不是应该立刻乖乖地回家吗?她才不会。她说:“哦,妈妈知道我在哪儿,她说没关系。”然后她指着街对面说,“我家就住在那儿。”
My father looks to where she's pointing and mutters, “Oh boy.” Then he looks at me and winks as he says, “Bryce, isn't it time for you to go inside and help your mother?”
爸爸看着她所指的方向,念叨着:“唉,上帝啊!”然后他看着我,边眨眼边说,“布莱斯,你是不是该回家给妈妈帮忙了?”
I knew right off that this was a ditch play. And I didn't think about it until later, but ditch wasn't a play I'd run with my dad before. Face it, pulling a ditch is not something discussed with dads. It's like, against parental law to tell your kid it's okay to ditch someone, no matter how annoying or muddy they might be.
我马上明白过来,这是个甩掉她的小花招。可我从来没跟爸爸排练过这出戏。拜托,怎样甩掉盯梢可不是你平时能和爸妈讨论的话题。想想看,告诉孩子可以甩掉别人,这可是违背了做父母的原则,不管这个人有多讨厌或是身上沾了多少泥巴。
But there he was, putting the play in motion, and man, he didn't have to wink twice. I smiled and said, “Sure thing!” then jumped off the liftgate and headed for my new front door.
但是爸爸情急之下还是这么做了,而且,他真的不用一直冲我使眼色吧!我笑了,答道:“没错!”然后跳出车门,冲向我们的新家。
I heard her coming after me but I couldn't believe it. Maybe it just sounded like she was chasing me; maybe she was really going the other way. But before I got up the nerve to look, she blasted right past me, grabbing my arm and yanking me along.
我听见她跟了上来,但我不敢相信。也许只是听上去很像她追上来了,也许她只是走向另一个方向。但是,在我鼓足勇气回头之前,她已经赶上来,猛地抓住我的胳膊。